Dudes. I cannot stop crying.

It's all this blog entry's fault. I am not kidding. It's amazing how words can affect you. If you click that link and read it, be sure you have a box of tissues sitting nearby.

It's rather old (2007), and I stumbled on it quite by accident. The writer of that blog, Laurie (aka: Crazy Aunt Purl) is a knitter, with a knack for writing. She's usually hilarious, and the blog itself is well-written and witty and, obviously, not always about knitting. She sometimes writes about or posts pictures of her cats (among many other things).

I noticed that she had common subjects for her posts listed in the sidebar, and one of these was called "Insane Kitty Posse." I clicked, hoping to find cute pictures of her kitties with funny descriptions. There were! But then there was THE entry. About the cat she'd lost. The one that made ME lose it.

I was at work when I found it, and did not realize at first how very sad it was. When I did, it took all my effort to not burst into tears right there. I clicked away; tried not to think about it.

At home that night, however, I kept thinking about it. Kept thinking about that other cat and Crazy Aunt Purl as I played with and cuddled my own kitteh.

Today at home, I broke down and read it. The whole entire entry, not skipping a word, despite the fact that I was sobbing throughout. Not just tears and sniffles, but gasping sobs. And I can't stop! (I'm crying as I write this). I'm not really sure why. It is always extremely sad when someone loses a pet. I avoid the "Support and Encouragement" section of my Cat Lady Forum expressly for this reason (I'm such a pathetic softy). But my own cat is very much alive, healthy, and rambunctious.

But, I worry about him constantly, of course. I think because I would never forgive myself if something happened to him. I promised to take this little creature into my home, to love him and protect him, to care for him, and by God, that's what I'm going to do, come hell or high water. And so I cried (and still cry) with the dread of knowing that one day (hopefully far far in the future *knocks on wood*) I will have to let him go. That despite my efforts, one day I will lose him. My fur-baby.

[Let me disclaimer here and fully admit that its that time of the month, so that might be part of my problem.]

You can read more about this in the actual entry, but the kitty in THE entry (named Roy) had a tough life before he met Laurie, the knitting lady. He was horribly abused (cigarette burns on his ears, teeth kicked out), and so I cry because I can't fucking stand it when people are so cruel and mean to animals (I'm not going to mince words here: I hope they burn in hell). My kitty has had an easy and spoiled life compared to poor Roy.

Happily, though, Roy found a good home. He loved and was loved in return. And I happy-cry that, despite the fact that he was old and beaten when he met Laurie, he was adopted by her and had happy years with her before he got sick. It's so horribly sad. She has pictures of him in her post and he had the sweetest face. How could you ever be mean to that face? I just don't get it. I'm glad they found each other.

Also, I will never ever be able to listen to "Danny's Song" the same way ever again.

Daddy: [while reading his jury summons]:  Are you sure you're not in an iron lung, hun?
Mom: What?  Why?
Daddy:  Well it says that if I provide health care for someone during the hours of 8 to 5, I can get out of it.


For obvious reasons, my mother and I died of laughter right after this.

...in which I ramble incessantly about my new favorite TV show.

Eons ago, back in May, I watched the American Idol finale and then watched the preview/pilot of some new show called Glee.  I figured it would tickle my fancy since I love musicals so much.  Indeed, I hearted it so hard I could have married it--especially since the first episode featured several Journey songs.

Fast forward to September when Glee re-premieres and I have totally forgotten about it.  By chance, I caught an ad for it on Fox one day and was like, "OH YEA!" and ran to my computer in the hope that they had the episodes I'd already missed on Hulu. They did!  Hooray!

I'll admit that I was a little disappointed--the next two episodes ("Showmance" and "Acafellas" if you care) were not as good as the pilot. Still funny, though, and funny enough that the following week I was sure to catch the newest episode ("Preggers") on Hulu again. AND NEARLY DIED OF GLEE (see what I did there?) It was so spectacularly awesome and funny and poignant. I fell in love. You must go watch it immediately.

Anyway, after THAT  episode, you can imagine my antsy-pants-ness about this week.  Would it be as good?  As funny? AS  AWESOME?  The previews were promising:   Kristin Chenoweth was guest-starring, and they were going to sing Queen's "Somebody to Love" at the end (and who doesn't love Queen?!)  But, because I'm naughty, I ended up spoiling myself a little for the episode, so it didn't have have as big of an impact as I'd hoped.  That's my own fault.  Though, there was also very little Jane Lynch, who is 10 levels of awesome, and it made me sad ;).   All that aside, I'll still watch it next week, and I'm singing "Maybe This Time" around the office.  You should totally join me.

Can you tell that absolutely nothing is going on in my life right now?  I've been waiting for 88 days to hear whether or not I've bought a house (and no, I still haven't heard either way).  Argh.

Anyway.

I  WANT  TO  SAVE  ALL  THE  KITTIES  :(  Yes, I yelled that.

At work, we often use the Yahoo messenger to send each other important files, or talk about each other or the boss, or bitch about coworkers in other states without the boss hearing.

Or, you know, to send each other fun internet links.  Whatever.

Anyway, Yahoo messenger lets you customize your own avatar to look like you (or whoever you want to look like) with a WIDE variety of outfits and backgrounds and extra flashy things.  So of course, we all went nuts.  Mary is in a snowmobile with a lightning flash, wings and a unicorn; Tara is pregnant with a velociraptor; Jen and Quincy (her dog) are chilling in an Archaeology Professor's office and Sam is back in time as a cave woman.

I change mine pretty often, but always have a meowing gray tabby cat by my side (Spike).  Generally my theme is that Spike and I are on adventures through both space AND time--we've been on the deck of the Titanic, cooked hamburgers atop a volcano, been Jedi, and are currently in Tudor England.  I've been wanting to screencap a lot of my avatar outfits and make a page that's sort of like "Where are Jackie and Spike THIS week?" and write little stories to go with them.

Guess what?  I'm going to do that here!  I'll rehash some of the ones I've already done (Jedi, Titanic, etc.), and update new ones from time to time.  Mostly this is a way for me to entertain myself and ALSO post entries for you all to read (all three of you that read this).

Without further ado:
This week, Spike and I frolic in a field of flowers, accompanied by a random unicorn.  I think the unicorn was bored.  He also appears to be trying to peek down my dress. Perv!


ETA: So I didn't realize it until later, but my avatar is totally all Lady and the Unicorn.  I didn't do that on purpose, but hey! Awesome!

Sigh.

[End of the telephone conversation between my dad and I re: the vacation he and my mom are on]

Me: Well, have fun!
Dad: Oh, we are! Your mother bought a lamp and I'm going to play with my laser.

Probably funny to no one but me...I love my family.

I read the following paragraph in a report I'm putting together, and my brain died:

"Soils associated with the older volcanic rocks in the project area include the Antholop-Wedlar association, which is residuum derived from basaltic rocks. The depth of the soils to the restrictive horizon is 14 to 20 inches to duripan (NRCS 2009)."

(I didn't write it, if you're wondering).

Me: "Dude, some pro tennis player died."
My Dad: "He didn't die, he committed suicide."
Me:"....that's dying."


(My dad claims he meant that the tennis player didn't die from natural causes.  I say he needs to turn on his mouth/brain filter).


*Edit:  At the time I made this entry, the authorities were unclear how the tennis player had died. Being that he was only 24, my dad jumped to the conclusion he'd killed himself---he actually had a heart attack: read

So, the other day I got a response to my I'm a Lazy Ass entry from "Anonymous", suggesting that I blog for a living (link).  I was unsure whether this person was being sincere or not, seeing that words on the interwebs can be taken any way you can possibly imagine. For the sake of my sanity, I took it as a compliment.

But it got me to thinking: what if I could?!  What if I could get paid to sit and type up my totally random thoughts, complete with awful spelling and grammar?  How I wish that our movie blog would take off and we could all get paid to go to movies and then write about how much they suck (or are awesome).  How fun would that be?

Wishful thinking ;)

When my brother and I were little, we were forced to make a hard decision: Would we rather keep Nickelodeon, or the Disney Channel? My parents had to cut back on the fancy channels for financial reasons, and we could only choose one kid channel to keep. After hours (or minutes, I can't remember) of deliberation, we chose Nickelodeon.

This may come as a shocker to my friends, seeing as I'm a giant Disney nerd. Obviously the lack of Disney channel in my life did not sway my allegiance to the mouse. Oh no, despite watching Nick Toons and Nick at Nite the majority of my childhood, it was Disney I became a slave intern for later in my life, during college.

And so Nickelodeon, despite it's profound impact on my childhood (shows like Salute Your Shorts and Hey Dude and Are You Afraid of the Dark? forever shaped me...and also made me jealous of kids who went to summer camp) was lost to my life for a long time after I became a teenager. Until recently.

A month or so ago, out in the field and stuck in a motel room with very little to offer besides cable television, I began flipping through channels. And landed on Nick. And was DEEPLY AMUSED.

I can't stand the Disney Channel shows. Hannah Montana makes me break out in hives. But iCarly? HILARIOUS. It was like what my parents always said about the Simpsons: funny for kids, but enough deep seeded humor and inside jokes for adults.

And have I mentioned the Penguins of Madagascar? If you liked them in the movie, the show is equally excellent.

I'm unsure, of course, whether or not I should be worried I'm enjoying a kid's channel so much as an almost-28 year old adult. Then again, I still don't get Spongebob Squarepants, so maybe I'm okay. Though I do feel like a bit of a Disney traitor. :X

I watched an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation the other night with my dad and realized my life would be so much simpler if we had replicators.

I will be the first to admit that my body images issues are partly the result of my eating shitastically (though I blame a lot of it on society, jerks), but additionally I'm an amazingly picky eater (I hate most fruit, lettuce, pork, bacon, eggs, anything drippy, etc.), and have crappy meal planning skillz (I tend to eat based on what I'm craving a particular day, so trying to plan that out ahead of time is like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. Or something.) The end result is a person who often eats fast food and junk food, not because she particularly wants to, but because food shopping and cooking are too big an ordeal and she's lazy (that'd be me, hi!)

I'm too lazy to cook for myself. I don't enjoy cooking, I think its laborious and the idea of standing in front of a stove after working all day just does not excite me. I do, however, like eating. And I do enjoy baking, but I think its only because the end result is something fattening and sweet and delicious. I seriously can't stand the idea of boiling a pot of water for pasta because I have to wait 20-30 minutes for a freaking meal. Yes, lazy. ("I want it nowww!")

Anyway, if we had replicators I could eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted! Feeling healthy? Just order up a nice salad. Or if you're me, no salad, but a nice portion of salmon and some veggies. Need a pick-me-up after a hard day at work? A small chocolate sundae would hit the spot! See what I mean? I would have to extend basically no effort, but could still eat healthy (or not, depending).

Someone needs to invent this technology, stat. kthxbai!

My LJ front page informs me that I haven't posted for SEVEN WHOLE WEEKS! God, I suck. Actually no--I blame the craptacular internet I'm currently dealing with in the middleofnowhere, Nevada. I bet it will take me 10 minutes to post this entry once I'm actually done writing it.

Anyway, I digress--I've been working inside, typing up site forms and the like, and every once and awhile I take a internet break (if its functioning) to clear my head from thoughts of lithic concentrations. Today, I perused the interwebs for information on the new Sims game (Sims 3!). Yes, I continue to be a nerd (note to self: find generic nerd icon).

Anyway, one of the bigger complaints about the Sims 3 is the lack of items included in the game, and EA's "store" wherein you spend real money to buy items for the game later ($10=1000 Simpoints). Most of the clothing items appear to be 75 simpoints (75 cents), but furniture sets can cost upwards of 1,900 points (19 whole dollars). I found some people complaining about this on reddit.com (a "source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own!" according to the website). Hilarity insued. Mixed in with the complaints and bitching about EA were several posters that made me LOL. I'm posting them here for your amusement ;)

Poster1: I can buy real fucking furniture off craigslist for less than that. What bullshit.
Reply to Poster1: Yeah but all that stuff's used. The downloadable items will be shiny and new!


Poster2: If anybody wants to send me 20 dollars for some imaginary furniture I will graciously send it to you first class.


Poster3: You might be surprised at the lengths a woman will go to impress other women with her furniture.


Poster4: Don't buy it. Or better yet, don't even buy the game. Your only vote is with your wallet.
Reply to Poster4: It's so much more gratifying to work yourself into an indignant fury online, though.


Poster5: Anyone who purchases virtual furniture with real money should be shot


Poster6: Wait, people will pay for virtual furniture so there virtual selves will have a nice virtual house? WHAT!?
Reply to Poster6: Psst... Hey buddy. Yeah, you. You wanna buy a virtual Rolex? It's totally legit, guaranteed. Just 30 bucks. I take MasterCard.

*snert*

(*note: a lot of people were complaining that it was costing $20 for a sofa, but the set I looked at as an example contained 45 items including several chairs, a bed, dressers, bathroom furnishing, etc. etc., so its not THAT bad, except you're still paying for fancier stuff. Also, someone else noted that the items you get with the game can be customized (colors and textures), so its not as if you have the most lame boring things ever. ADDITIONALLY, as with the Sims 2, its expected that the community will start making things which you can download for freebies.)

I bought this fancy package of cookies that APPEAR to be the fancy, organic version of Oreos. A website giving recommendations for foods (kind of a "Eat This, Not That" kind of thing) said they "taste like Oreos, but fresher!"

They in no way taste like Oreos, because Oreos are delicious and these taste like CRAP. I'll buy either real Oreos or the Trader Joes version in the future, thanksverymuch.

My horoscope for today:

"You can see the good side of nearly anything today, even in a situation that others would think is very difficult. It's not that you are in denial; it's just that you can be realistic and optimistic at the same time now. This gives you a distinct advantage when dealing with co-workers, for they will be more willing to follow your lead when they see that you actually have a practical plan to turn the lemons into lemon meringue pie."

My first thought after reading said horoscope: "Mmm...pie!"